Belittle Big Bodies, Eroticize Politics,
Re-enchant the World


Our Candidate

wdk and darth poodle
W. David's artless mien and
Wlad's Darth Poodle visage

Wlad K-relevant quotes

"Success is going from failure to failure without a loss of enthusiasm." - Winston Churchill
"Results? Man, I've got lots of results. I know several thousand things that won't work." - Thomas Edison
"Some parts of my character aren't what you'd call presidential." - Zaphod Beeblebrox


Joint Statement from W. David Kubiak and his dicey doppelgänger Wladislav K
on their campaign to free Earth from Big Bodies and occupy the presidency

Although we truly believe we can pull a victory off, let us be the first to assure you that we're not a perfect candidate. We've lived in Asia most of our life and enjoyed a rather reckless history. From running Kyoto honkytonks and getting jailed for firebombing local yakuza gangs to kindling massive protests against the city's corporate doom, publicizing salariman emasculation and then getting elected "virtual mayor," our Japanese episodes alone might give a normal voter pause. Even our less noisy work with outcaste tribals in India and stints with geurrilla media, cold fusion and 9/11 truth in the US are not normal resume entries.

Fortunately, however, you are probably not a normal voter either or may no longer vote at all. In fact you may think our elections are now such a tragic farce that an outburst of insurrectional weirdness really could not hurt at all.

To be perfectly frank, we are only doing this because nobody else is, but yes, for better or worse, we're touched enough to believe we really can win. Win in the sense of winning 10% of you over to SAP's potent memes—"Attention Rules!", "Big Bodies Suck!" & "Conspiracy can Heal the World!"—and simply alerting 30% more of you that they exist.

That alone will plant them deeply enough in the zeitgeist to blossom and spread on their own. And that of course also means we will win in the sense of dooming monstrous corporate scale, reviving eco-erotic politics and igniting the first faint sparkles of the spirit of the Earth. Thus begins the healing of our countries, cultures and consciousness. What more could winning mean?

Our main platform goals are outlined in SAP's ABC meme roster and the Contract on Corporate America, but we and/or our shadow cabinet will also be posting numerous Big position papers issues as the campaign rolls along.

To offer a quick personal preview, however, we have rather odd ideas about taxes, education and the exploration of (inner) space. We also believe in compulsary national service for every American kid after high school including one year of Third World work & travel and one year at home learning guerrilla skills and sniper arts.

It seems to us that before moving blindly on to "higher education", all young people should have some experience of the planet we inhabit and the tools to protect their freedoms and rights. We can also reclaim our national security from military-industrial complexification by arming our youth with firsthand knowledge of the world and democratizing self-defense.

After all, what people can really be sovereign if Big covert powers are controlling all their recon and twisting their  views of the world as well as incessantly robbing them blind to build absurdly monstrous arsenals? The Swiss had it right - educate your kids with sniper scopes and honest news and you can remain uninvaded inexpensively and for a very long time. (Plus they get a pretty cool knife.)

Proudest Political Accomplishments
(besides notorious student council careers
at Bowdoin College & Kennebunk High)

Educational - Editing/publishing Japan's first direct democracy manual in 1992 |in Japanese at Google Books
Electoral: Japan - Wlad's (virtually successful) 1993 Kyoto Mayoral Campaign | Local press coverage
Electoral: Fed - Wlad's (really successful) 2000 New Hampshire VP Primary Campaign | Campaign site archive
Agitational - Organizing the 2001 "New Chautauqua" prototype for the 2002 "Rolling Thunder Down-Home Democracy Tour"
Electoral: State - Wlad's (Bush clan-annoying) 2004 Maine State Senate Campaign | Ad & collateral archive
Electoral: Fed - Managing John Buchanan's "Bush/Nazi"/9/11 truth campaign in the 2004 New Hampshire Primary
Agitational - Designing the 2005 & 2008 conferences in DC and Santa Cruz
Agitational - Spreading the anti-Bigness gospel in the vibrant lymph nodes of Occupy Maine

In other words, we have spent a bit of time in the trenches and considerable thought on the barricades, especially those separating activists into fractured and easily vanquished single issue crews. Hence our broad spectrum remedies, our rather irrational optimism and our appeal for your vote.

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